Monday, January 18, 2010

Things that relate to me all have to do with incompetance.

What exactly happened?
I was useless. He needed my help. She needed my help. I was unable to provide that help.
Because, I don't know. For him it was because I was on the phone with her. And...well, I didn't know what to say to her.
Well, why didn't you?
I don't know! I've never been in that situation before. Well, I have but...
But I've never been able to make any sense of it myself.
What have you not been able to make sense of?
The whole, loving thing. How people can hurt you even if they claim they love you.
Ah, that is a difficult topic.
I've decided they never loved you if they hurt you but...I ask myself all the time if that's the truth. If, the truth is...that they actually loved you, but in their rage felt the necessity to take it out on you.
Why would you take out your pain on someone you love?
Because, if they love you too...and you've been together long enough...that person knows you well. In your anger, you don't know who else...
You trust them enough to stay after you mutilate them.
That's never the case though, is it?
I guess that's just because no one's ever looked at it that way before.
Have you ever mutilated someone you loved with words?
Well, no one I genuinely loved.
Have you ever been mutilated with words?
I won't recall.
That's another touchy subject.