Saturday, February 13, 2010


It's been a really long time since we've talked.
You're right. I guess I'm sorry.
There isn't anything to be sorry for, really.
I'm sure there isn't. There's still that uncomfortable guilty feeling, you know?
Yeah. So, tell me, how've you been?
Pretty good. I'm in that awkward stage of self awareness.I'm starting to learn things about myself that I've been ignoring for a long time.
Like what?
Well, for one my appearance. It's always been a part of me that I haven't wanted to accept because my head has been filled with all these ugly remarks.
What kind of remarks?
Big nose. Huge ears. Small Lips. Squinty eyes. Full brown hair. Dark eyes. Ratty hair. Oily skin. Not well taken care of. Sweats too much. Huge white scar on her stomach. Hairy. Buck teeth. Small breasts. Long large legs. Huge thighs. Small butt. Pointy feet...I could honestly go on forever.
Those aren't all completely negative.
They're also not considerably attractive to this harsh world we live in.
It seems this part of me is what makes me the most uncomfortable.
Do you understand why this could be the reason?
Well, the sexual comments passed my way have the tendency to make me self conscious and proud all at the same time.
How often do these comments get thrown your way?
Not often. I dress so that they're not called at me often at all.
But when it does happen, you get nervous.
How have you fixed this image of yourself?
I've told myself I'm pretty. I told myself that for all my flaws I'm uniquely beautiful. It's that uniqueness that makes me desirable and for that I should embrace myself.
Sounds promising.
Actually, it sounds like a bunch of cliche bullshit.